One day I was going for a walk. And I heard a sound, so I took my headphones off. Nothing. Then it hit me. A massive rock. I fell to the ground. As I looked up, I saw this weird purple camelish creature with ray bans and a poncho. Who are you I mumbled. Before blacking out.

I awoke in a strange room, with a huge, panoramic window. Out of it I could see the moon, the stars and the earth in the distance. Suddenly, a loud alarm went off. It sounded like something by Kraftwerk. Then a door opened and 36 of the weird purple creatures walked in. One of them began to speak, it sounded like Tom Waits; 'We are the purple space llamas, we are going to steal your kneecaps and your pancreas. Surrender now and we will apologise afterwards'. I ran through the other door as fast as my space hopper would take me. I went too fast around a corner and crashed into something. There in front of me was Rabbie Burns. 'We are being chased by weird purple llamas with the voice of Tom Waits' I said. To which Burns replied 'We need to get off this spaceship, for aw that, and aw that'. We ran through and found the cockpit of the spaceship. In the corner was an enormous mountain of blue tomatoes. Burns exclaimed 'Of course, purple space llamas are allergic to blue tomatoes, for aw that, and aw that'. So when the evil llamas came through the door, we hurled blue tomatoes at them as fast as we could. Sure enough, the llamas began to melt, into a stodgy purple mess on the floor, singing chocolate jesus.

We flew the spacecraft back to earth. I told people of my story, and how me and 18th century Scottish poet Robert Burns fought an army of purple space llamas. Not only is Robert Burns still alive, but look we've got a spacecraft!!! Nobody was interested. So I just went home. I've still got the llamas spacecraft. I keep it in the garden, and use it as a sort of flying caravan spacecraft in the summer holidays. It uses quite a lot of fuel though so I don't use it that often.