Love and devotion, it’s a strange notion, never understood truth be told, but maybe that’s because I have never had a valentine to hold, (chorus: NO, no valentine for me, no valentine for me, never been a valentine for me) From when I was born until the day I die, to tell me I will find love is to-tell-me-A-LIE- (Chorus) come February one-four, no one to adore, no one adores me, but they’ll be no complainin’, I ‘l get through the pain an’, again no cards from lovers to be, (Chorus)

Cabbage, you're green and bitter, a mean man hitter, oh cabbage I oughtta make a soup outta you, are you ripe?

Now, Sheriff Fatman started out In business, a granny farmer He was infamous for fifteen minutes And he appeared on Panorama But then he somehow got himself on board The Starship Enterprise Allowance Scheme With a Prince of Wales award For pushing Valium and amphetamines Moving up onto second base Behind Nicholas Van Wotsisface Six foot six and a hundred tons The undisputed king of the slum More aliases than Klaus Barbie The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea Just about to take the stage The one and only, hold the front page Fatman's got something to sell To the capitol's homeless At the Crossroads Hotel For the no-fixed-abodeless Where you can live life in style You can sleep in a closet And if you flash him a smile He'll take your teeth as deposit There's bats in the belfry The windows are jammed The toilets ain't healthy And he don't give a damn He just chuckles and smiles Laughs like a madman Born again Rachman Here comes Sheriff Fatman With his Valium, amphetamines His sick notes and his phony prescriptions And just when you thought it was safe To go back into kitchen Dead legs and cracked heads Bunk-beds and breakfasts Hey, hey, hey, cherish one Moving up onto second base Behind Nicholas Van Wotsisface Six foot six and a hundred tons The undisputed king of slums More aliases than Klaus Barbie The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea Just about to take the stage The one and only, hold the front page Moving up now to take the place Of Nicholas Van Wotsisface Six foot six and a hundred tons The undisputed king of the slums With more aliases than Klaus Barbie The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea In a hatchback from Notre Dame The one and only Sheriff Fatman In goes another left hook and now I'm losing my patience Someone call up Roger Cook and the United Nations He's buying up houses for the has beens and helping From Lands End to South end to Chelsea There's bats in the belfry The windows are jammed The toilets ain't healthy He don't give a damn He just chuckles and smiles Laughs like a madman Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Sheriff Fatman Sheriff Fatman, Sheriff Fatman, Sheriff Fatman, brainchumps Read more: Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine - Sheriff Fatman Lyrics | MetroLyrics